BEST OF SHOW The idea of "the best" is always subjective — in fact, what's simply good is often up for debate. In bodybuilding, the most subjective of sports, the idea of "best" takes on even more depth and layers. Just stroll through the expo hall at a major bodybuilding show with a couple of friends, and you'll see that one person's eye candy is another's eyesore. What's exaggerated in one context is understated in another; bigger is better; fake is more real; in?ation is good. Is it a body bazaar or bodies bizarre? This is all to say that m&f has made the hard calls in compiling our own "best of" selections, spanning more than half a century of muscle memory. Even if you disagree with our choices, you must acknowledge that they are, at least, superlative. 1 BEST BODYBUILDING CONTEST: MR. USA, 1949 >> The 7,000 bodybuilding fans on hand for this show at Los Angeles' Shrine Auditorium saw not two but five Hall of Fame legends do battle. The immortal Steve Reeves finished third, believe it or not, behind 41-year-old winner John Grimek and runner-up Clancy Ross, and ahead of George Eiferman and Armand Tanny. International Federation of Bodybuilders Men's Historian Joe Roark still insists Reeves should have won. 2 BEST BLENDER: BRAUN POWERMAX MX2050 >> The Braun Power Max is one of the best all-round performers, and gets an excellent rating for smoothies too. (And really, what do you blend besides shakes and smoothies? Don't answer that.) 3 BEST PHYSIQUE ATHLETE WEBSITE: BETHANY HOWLETT.COM >> With her deer-with-emerald-contacts-caught-in-headlights gaze, the self-proclaimed Queen B of Fitness may stop you in your tracks at first glance. The galleries aren't necessarily for the faint of heart, but this site's genius lies in its gestalt, a kaleidoscope of sensory overload. Best feature: Authoritatively guiding visitors through the site are the robotic intonations of Bodyrock promoter Steve McAdams. 4 BEST PHYSIQUE IN PRO SPORTS: AFLEET ALEX >> We opted for sheer size in this category, and frankly, humans are just too damn small. Afleet Alex is a ripped 1,000 pounds, and he runs the mile in well under two minutes. In the classic American Preakness stakes, he avoided a near face-plant while carrying a 100-pound man on his back to win by four lengths. When Ronnie Coleman can pull that off, we'll reconsider. 5 BEST BODYBUILDER QUOTE: IFBB PRO KENNY JONES "I liked Titanic, but The Poseidon Adventure was a better film, and quite honestly I think that Titanic was based on The Poseidon Adventure." 6 BEST POSING SUIT DESIGNER: JAGWARE >> Everyone from Ronnie Coleman to US M&F Senior Editor Jeanine Detz (left, No. 22) has proudly donned a Jagware suit. (Jeanine, when profiling Jenny Lynn or editing "Big Time" each month.) Whether you're a contest virgin or the next Mr. Olympia, Jagware has physique-flattering trunks and competition suits in your price range. 7 BEST BODYBUILDING BOOK: DAVE DRAPER'S BROTHER IRON, SISTER STEEL >> Subtitled A Bodybuilder's Book, this 2001 opus shattered the image of muscleman as musclehead. Of course, it's laden with workouts rich in the wisdom that only Dave's experience can provide, but it's lifted further by his inimitable ability to convey everything you need to know about training in a package of lyrical conversation and mellifluous prose. 8 BEST BODYBUILDING SCENE IN A MOVIE (NOT CALLED PUMPING IRON): SHACK OUT ON 101 >> The most audacious celluloid muscle-building occurs in this 1955 trash classic, featuring Lee Marvin (right) as a short-order cook–cum–commie rat and Keenan Wynn as his workout partner. After admiring each other's pecs, Wynn invites Marvin to check out his abs: "Hey, feel this." Says Marvin: "That's pretty hard…but not as hard as mine. 9 BEST RECENT TECHNOLOGICAL INNOVATION: POWER PLATE >> If gym equipment came with a theme song, Power Plate's would be Brian Wilson's "Good Vibrations". By training on one of these vibrating platforms, you can achieve the following excitations: more mass, greater strength and increased power while boosting testosterone and growth hormone levels, not to mention flexibility. The Personal Power Plate home model is £2,595. Visit www.totallyfitness.co.uk." 10 BEST RESISTANCE MACHINE: SMITH MACHINE >> From calf raises and stiff-legged deadlifts to every angle of chest training imaginable, the Smith is the most versatile piece of gym equipment. It allows you to manipulate weight around your body position, giving those with physical limitations a pain-free plane of motion in which to train. Another bonus: the Smith makes it safer for solo lifters to go heavy. 11 BEST BODYBUILDING SENTENCE: JULIAN SCHMIDT, ON JAN KUS, FLEX, APRIL 1998 "One explores his boulder-strewn terrain for hours in search of a human feature, eventually coming upon a foot; then, farther down the trail and around a cliff, another." 12 BEST MASS-BUILDING EXERCISE: SQUAT >> Although the squat is categorised as a leg exercise, technically it's a whole-body mass-builder. Experts say that more than 200 muscles are involved in executing the squat from top to bottom and then back up to the top again. In addition, the greater growth hormone and testosterone surge you get after doing the squat as compared to other exercises means it helps enhance the growth of all muscles. 13 BEST MR. OLYMPIA LINE-UP: 1991 >> Lee Haney and Dorian Yates, who won a combined 14 Sandow trophies between them, battled head to head at this contest in Orlando, Florida, with Lee prevailing. Overshadowed by the passing torch were legends and near-legends Shawn Ray, Lee Labrada, Rich Gaspari, Albert Beckles, Bob Paris, Robby Robinson and Vince Taylor. The show was a watershed between two — or among three — generations of bodybuilding history. 14 BEST BODYBUILDING MEAL LEAN BEEF & PASTA >> The perfect bodybuilding-friendly meal must include protein, to mend damaged muscle tissue; carbs, to drive protein into muscles and keep cortisol under control; and fat to support testosterone production. That said, the ideal muscle meal would be 280 - 420 g of cooked pasta with 200 – 300 g ounces of lean beef. 15 BEST BODYBUILDING DIVISION: BANTAMWEIGHT Why bantams, you ask? >> Bodybuilding should be about heart and desire, not genetics. >> Who's ever heard of a super-heavyweight rooster? >> Like an ant, if you blow up a bantam to the size of a normal human, he could carry a car on his back. >> It's not the size that matters; it's the motion of the ocean. >> Bantams are eco-friendly: they can contest-diet on one chicken. 16 BEST TANNING PRODUCT: PRO TAN >> Pick up a sponge brush and a container of Pro Tan, and you're a few days away from the skin tone of a pro. After interviewing several competitors, we began to wonder if any other tanning products existed. Apparently, Pro Tan's the only one worth knowing. Pros credit it with creating the even, natural colour (ahem) that you've come to associate with bodybuilding (in just 6–7 coats, no less!). 17 BEST ENDING TO A MR. OLYMPIA VICTORY SPEECH: RONNIE COLEMAN, 2001 ‘‘I'm no better than anybody else. I'm a God-fearing individual. I've got red blood just like everybody else got. Two arms and two legs. Mine's just a bit bigger. We're all one people. United we stand, divided we fall. In God we trust. God bless America.'' 18 BEST PERSONAL-TRAINER ANECDOTE: VINCE GIRONDA ON WILLIAM CONRAD (whale-like '70s private eye cannon) "We tried to get him to do sit-ups. He had such a big belly he could just manage to raise his head. He had to roll off the training table." 19 BEST BACK Dorian Yates/Mandy Blank >> Dorian's was built with heavy barbell rows; Mandy's, with deep lunges. Dorian's needed its own postcode; Mandy's deserves a commemorative postage stamp. Take your pick. 20 BEST BODYBUILDING SNACK FOOD: PUDDING >> This tasty (and portable) treat provides the sweetness and creaminess of a cheat food without the calories or fat. While InStone is a popular choice among bodybuilders, sugar-free jelly runs a close second. M&F